Att. Potlim

Excerpts from "EuroRounders"
Quick note. If you don"t play poker, or haven"t seen Rounders, nothing below this line is going to make a shred of sense. If you have, it"s like the funniest fucking thing ever, because plo totally, utterly sucks.





EuroRounders

Michel (voiceover): "If you can"t find the boorish American hold"em player at the table within half an hour, you are the boorish American hold"em player."

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TITLE/CREDITS. This entire movie is in black and white, with subtitles.

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Michel (voiceover): "This game is really scummy, and well above what I can afford to play. My entire bankroll is riding on this one session going well. This is Teddy CIA"s place, where they only play Pot Limit Omaha, the most sophisticated game in Europe."

- Michel knocks on the window -

Teddy CIA: "You want poker, or whore?"

Michel: "Poker. Give me three stacks of high, elitist society."

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Michel: "I raise."

Teddy CIA: "It"s a position raise. I call."

- The flop comes 5-7-A, with two diamonds -

Michel: "I bet the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I raise the pot."

Michel: "I reraise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I reraise the pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel (voiceover): "I sit back and think. I have three aces - the best possible hand. I want him to think I"m debating a call, but really I"m just thinking about Monte Carlo, and whatever the fuck is in Monte Carlo."

Michel: *shrugs* "Okay, well, I re-pot it, I"m all in, because I don"t think you have a pair." *winks at the camera*

Teddy CIA: "Who are you winking at? It doesn"t matter, I call."

Michel (voiceover): "I know before he even says it."

Teddy CIA: "I have 8-6-4-3 with two diamonds, for a wrap straight draw and a flush draw, which is a favorite over your top set."

- Turn is a King. River is a 2 which gives Teddy CIA an ace-to-five straight for the win. -

- Michel sits there, shell-shocked. -

Joey Croissant: "Come on, I"ll get you a whore."

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Michel (voiceover): "Well, that sucked. Since then, I"ve sworn off of poker and made my living as a roadside prostitute for boorish American tourists. Hopefully, I can pay my way through law school that way. I can always find games, though. I could turn this truck onto the road and be at the Taj in 19 and a half hours."

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Michel (voiceover): "I"m here to pick my friend Worm up from prison."

- Worm walks out of prison -

Michel: "Worm! It"s wonderful to see you!"

- They kiss each other passionately on the mouth -

Michel: "How was prison?"

Worm: "I was brutally sodomized on a regular basis."

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Michel: "Look...Croissant, I never told you this, but about a year ago, I was playing poker at the Casino des Atlantes, and Marcel Luske walks in. He sits down at the 50/100 pot limit game. And, I mean, the whole place stops, right? Just watching this guy play. After a while there isn"t a retarded European gambling game going, because everybody"s just, you know, watching this guy."

- Joey Croissant nods -

Michel: "So you know what I did? I sat down."

Joey Croissant: "No way, you need at least 300,000 euros to sit down at a game like that. Such bad financial management is typical of a boorish American!"

- Joey Croissant and Michel laugh for twenty-six minutes -

Michel: "Right, okay, but seriously, I played for an hour, doing nothing but fold

Klasse!

Men mit syn på Omaha er nu anderledes.
Ze crazy americans sprøjter om sig med pengene.

hahah eller....har set rounders...og nej d ikke komik...håber ikke at d dig der har skrevet om på manu...