Mener det var på 2+2 jeg læste denne engang for længe siden. Sad lige og rodede lidt i nogle gamle mapper og faldt så over den. Sry, hvis det er en repost.
En fyr der hedder Stephen arbejder som support-medarbejder på et unavngivent pokersite (mener det er på Ipoker) hvor han får mange sjove henvendelser i LIVE-chatten. Han har så gemt nogle af dem og postede dem i en tråd.
I have talk to these idiots all day....
I have no idea what drugs this guy was on, he's English too...
Visitor: hello,was posted email,today 75%...gain if i rejoined??
Stephen: I am not aware of such a promotion
Stephen: please paste the content of the email to me here and i'll explain it to you
Visitor: stephen,it was e mailed,don"t want say much in here....but because visited site,lost what was offerr2ed ok
Stephen: Can you rephrase that please?
Visitor: not,lost as in playing money.....but ,lost log in ok
Stephen: ok, but I need the details of the bonus you are referring to
Visitor: can only give you my e,mail address???
Stephen: Yes please
Visitor: what on here lmao
Stephen: Yes of course on here
Stephen: How can we check your account if you don't tell me your email address?
Visitor: that"s why asking you???
Stephen: I have no idea what you're trying to ask me
Visitor: just forget it ok
Total Stupidity
Dylma: i just won the lcd tv tournament, what do i get?
Guy who doesn't know that you need $10 in your account to rebuy in a $10r
you: Hi Stephen I have been refused to rebuy .why T/T500GTD10/1 Rebuy
Stephen: Do you have enough funds in your account?
you: I have mony to buy but it was refused as not enghe mony.
Stephen: Strange
Stephen: Can I take your PIN number please?
Stephen: I'll send this to our technical team to investigate
you: To rebuy I need ed£1 my accout showees£8.
you: debboy789 it is nt right after paying a lot mony .just when I had a chance
Stephen: has the rebuy period ended?
you: I dont think I just rebuy a hand befor.
you: I was refused beacouse not enogh mony and not rebuy period ended.
Stephen: then you don't have enough money in your acconut
Stephen: you said it's a €10r and your account has €8
you: For rebuy Ineed£!.
Stephen: then you don't have enough
Stephen: sorry
you: Sorry ? why.
Stephen: because if you have 8 and the rebuy is 10
Stephen: you're €2 short
you: rebuy is mot 10£ Tabel7500GTD Rebuy is£10-1.
Stephen: 10+1 = 11
Stephen: you have 8 in your account
Stephen: That's not enough i'm afraid
you: Can I have the breakdown of this gam please.
Stephen: What do you mean?
you: #I like to see what was starting money and how it has been spended,.
you: Only for this gime started 10pm.
Stephen: Can I take your PIN number then please?
you: PIN no you mean niknam (REMOVED).
Stephen: you've bought into this tournament
Stephen: then had 1 rebuy
Stephen: now you have €8.42 in your account
you: I had more than 5/6 rebuy.
Stephen: not according to the system
Stephen: you had 2
you: I think I started whit 28£ or so Payd !(£ to strte 6/7 X1£ for rebuy .last request for rebuy was refused when my account showes £8.40.
Stephen: You started with €28
Stephen: Sorry, €29.42 and spent €11 then €10
Stephen: now you have €8.42 in your account
Stephen: you can't afford another rebuy
you: Stephen please tel me what does £10-£1 meanes.My understanding is £10 to starte
Stephen: Everything is in €
Stephen: Euros
Stephen: €10+1 = €11
Stephen: 10 is the buyin, 1 is the entry fee
you: Yes I agree .You teling me that I pay £11 to starte what do i pay for evry rebuy.
Stephen: €10
Stephen: you only pay the entry fee once
you: But how could buy so many rebuy if each is £10.
you: I am sorry if I am rong .I just starte playing Tournoment.
Stephen: You had 1 rebuy
Stephen: I don't know why this is hard to understand
Stephen: you spent €21 on this tournament
Stephen: taking your account from €29.42 to €8.42
Stephen: what is your complaint?
you: THANK YOU .can I see the breakdown of this game PLEASE.
Stephen: I just told you
you: Thank.you I tel you why this is hard to understand .You are profetional & I am LEARNING the Tournoment.Sea if I understand . I starte whit £29.42 to inrol and start to play £11 has taken from £29.42 .it is corect or not .Than what I paid for rebuy.
Stephen: Yes
Stephen: which took you to €18.42
Stephen: then you had a rebuy for €10
Stephen: which has now put you on €8.42
Stephen: I hope i'm getting levelled here
you: Stephen if you whould tel me that to eebuy I have i
Stephen: That makes no sense
you: Thank you.
Stephen: No problem
I hate listening to bad beat stories
Stephen: Welcome to Poker Live Support, how can I help you?
Visitor: why i lost
Visitor: with aj against a9 at the river??
Visitor: get a nine to comlete full house??
Stephen: That is probably why you lost yes
There's been loads more that are even more stupid than these, but I can't be bothered to look through the logs just yet. I get s**t like this on a daily basis though.
in before tl;dr.
This is my favourite...
Dennis: i made a withdraw 1 mounth ago and I still have not had my money
Dennis: all i have is a reciept you sent me
Stephen: One moment please Dennis.
Stephen: According to our system, your withdrawal was made by cheque and was delivered to your address successfully.
Dennis: no it wasnt, all you send me was this f**king reciept
Stephen: That's not a receipt Dennis, it's a cheque. You need to take it to your bank and pay it in.
Ok, a few more...
Those small round things that you bet!
andrei: i've got a problem when i want to sit down to a table and play i can't
andrei: so...
Stephen: What error message do you get from the poker client?
andrei: no it's not an error message
andrei: i acan't buy i don't know the word that round small things that i bet
andrei: can't*
Stephen: you mean chips?
andrei: yea chips
Stephen: There is no money on your account Andrei
andrei: yes i know that
andrei: but how i make money if a can't play poker
andrei: :-?
Stephen: You will need to make a deposit before you can play for real money Andrei
Pakistani's are human too
you: ok poker know what is next step
you: how i make money in this side and freeware prices
Stephen: We do not accept players from Pakistan
you: But Y
you: this is not a roll i m human and i think you are
you: i have right to play and understanding the game
Stephen: No you don't, for legal reasons we do not accept players from Pakistan
I just found this amusing
Visitor: 1. Can you be more nebulous ?
Visitor: 2. Are you being rude ?
Stephen: 1. Yes
Stephen: 2. No
Stephen:
Need to GAMBOOOOOL
NAME REMOVED: Got a code 201, locked account, can you help me_
Stephen: Can I take your PIN number or email address please?
NAME REMOVED: xxxxxxxxx
Stephen: thanks
Stephen: Your account was locked at your request
Stephen: due to a gambling problem
NAME REMOVED: Want to open again!
Nah, the daftest Omaha questions I get are players who think they can use 1 card from their hand.
Anyways, got another couple...
Day FAIL
Visitor: no. i am trying to register at the right tournament, it says ' you are eligible for our €1000 freeroll that takes place on saturday at 19.00 GMT.'
Stephen: Today is Sunday.
This guy was just on another level of stupid
Stephen: Can I take your PIN number or email address please?
Visitor: *don't like you mean
Visitor: na, i made bad experience with that
Visitor: ipoker sold the email addresses i think, so that 2 times i got advertisement by casinos to my home address
Visitor: AND tons of emails of casinos, other sites etc
Visitor: im sorry
Stephen: We have your email address anyway, this is just so I can locate your account.
Visitor: what do you mean by locatin
Visitor: g
Stephen: Find it
Visitor: important is, that my email address wont be used for whatever, advertisement etc
Stephen: It won't be no.
Stephen: Can I take your PIN number or email address please?
Visitor: you mean for
Visitor: improving the site?
Stephen: No. So I can see your account
Stephen: I wanted to check what bonuses etc you were eligible for
Visitor: yeah sure
Visitor: yeah you can use it
Visitor: i was informed by pokerstrategy for that bonus
Stephen: Can I just have your email address please?
Ok, there's quite a few. I had no idea there were this many.
WAT?
Fosztolyka: i startes this day with 56 E and i didn t loose
Fosztolyka: started
Fosztolyka: now i have only 61
Visitor: what is thatcauhelpme
Visitor: sry
Visitor: what is that
Visitor: impro no fish but i lose every time
Visitor: what is that wil u my money or what is that
I'm amazed how many people complain about the server clock
Visitor: need to change gmt
Stephen: What do you mean?
Visitor: clock says 17.14 need it to say 18.14
Stephen: We're currently on BST
Stephen: GMT is 17:14
Visitor: hi you havent put clocks forward its 4.15pm here in uk
Visitor: so every thing is 1hr behind
Stephen: We're on BST now, not GMT
Stephen: GMT, it is still 15:15pm
Visitor: so when will times be same
Stephen: The next time the clocks are changed
More stupid chats...
Stephen: this is for legal reasons
Visitor: I PLAY OTHER POKER SITES
Visitor: WHY DO NOT PLAY YOUR SITES?
Stephen: like I said, we legally cannot accept Turkish players
Visitor: HIMM
Visitor: WHAT YOUR SISTER NAME?
Stephen: Why would you like to know this?
Visitor: i want get maried your sister
Stephen: She doesn't want to marry you though, sorry
Stephen: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Visitor: ok if i can't save then my playmoney chips i remove this bad poker site from my computer
Stephen: Yes, you will receive your rakeback payment on 1st March
Stephen: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Visitor: yes
Visitor: will i recieve it today?
Stephen: No, because it is the 28th February today
Colleague... (Same guy as first chat iirc)
Colleague: O yes I have the email.
Colleague: You have provided FAKE ID documents.
Colleague: The ID you sent was edited. And not valid.
???: why its not vallid
Colleague: Therefore you account can not be verified.
Colleague: Because you made it up
???: i dont wanna sent my real turkish ID
[10:24:54] Visitor: I CAN PLAY 1000FREROL PAY 500 HANDS RAKED
[10:25:08] Visitor: 14 MAY
[10:25:48] Stephen: Yes, you will need to click the Register button when registration for this tournament opens.
[10:26:39] Visitor: Y CAN PLAY TTHIS TOURNAY 14 MAY OR 21
[10:26:42] Visitor: MAY
[10:26:43] Visitor: ?
[10:27:56] Stephen: Yes, but registration for this tournament has not opened yet.
[10:28:10] Visitor: Y NOW THAT
[10:28:17] Visitor: 14 Y PLAY
[10:28:28] Visitor: ?
[10:28:34] Stephen: What do you mean exactly?
[10:30:12] Visitor: Y EARN RAKE HANDS 500 THIS WEEK AND Y NOW I PLAY 21 MAY FREROL 1000 BECOUSE REGISTER IS CLOSE THAT WHY I ASK
[10:30:15] Visitor: '?
[10:30:30] Visitor: IT IS CLOSED
[10:30:41] Visitor: OR I CAN PLAY 14 MAY
[10:30:52] Stephen: The status of this tournament is Waiting, which means registration hasn't opened yet
[10:30:51] Visitor: ANDERSTAND NOW
[10:31:33] Stephen: You will be able to register when registration has opened.
[10:32:10] Visitor: Y PLAY 2 TIME AND YOUR COLEG REGISTER
[10:32:15] Visitor: MY
[10:32:20] Visitor: NOT MY
[10:32:25] Visitor: ANDERSTAND
[10:32:52] Stephen: I'm sorry, I don't understand your English and can't explain this any more clearly to you than I already have done.
[10:34:22] Visitor: y whant to you register in tournaments 1000 week 14 may
[10:34:32] Visitor: anderstands
[10:35:12] Stephen: As i've already said... You can register yourself when registration is open
10:35:35] Visitor: man register 2 time
[10:35:46] Visitor: and you not can ?
[10:36:16] Stephen: I can, but i'm not going to.
[10:36:26] Stephen: You can register yourself when registration for this tournament opens
[10:36:25] Visitor: why
[10:37:10] Visitor: man 14 my come maybe 23 gmt
[10:37:22] Visitor: that why
[10:37:42] Visitor: and reasen is i cant register
[10:38:00] Visitor: work 14 22gmt
[10:38:15] Visitor: and come home 23 gmt
[10:38:26] Stephen: This tournament starts at 19:00GMT, you would have been blinded out by then already.
LIVE-chat support LOLs
14-12-2009 00:39
#1|
0
14-12-2009 01:33
#3|
0
Kunne forestille mig der var masser af gode historier omkring vandkøleren.
14-12-2009 01:39
#4|
0
Hahaha good stuff.
14-12-2009 04:47
#5|
0
Han er da ret tålmodig :)
14-12-2009 07:32
#7|
0
"???: why its not vallid
Colleague: Therefore you account can not be verified.
Colleague: Because you made it up
???: i dont wanna sent my real turkish ID"
En af de sjoveste pn tråde jeg længe har læst!
Jeg havde nok bannet et par accounts af ren irritation hvis jeg sku høre på alt det.
14-12-2009 08:30
#8|
0
LOL, så genialt :)
og jeg føler mig lidt dum i nogle af mine spørgsmål, nevermore.
14-12-2009 09:38
#9|
0
"Stephen: Your account was locked at your request
Stephen: due to a gambling problem
NAME REMOVED: Want to open again!"
GAMBOOOL :D:D:D
Stephen: due to a gambling problem
NAME REMOVED: Want to open again!"
GAMBOOOL :D:D:D
14-12-2009 14:25
#11|
0
GezaToldi OP
@MrPaulsen
Haha, ja, den der er også min favorit. GAMBOOOL!!!! Haha!!
14-12-2009 14:33
#12|
0
Den her nu os meget god. Ligeledes fra 2+2
Hello Martin,
Thank you for your email.
I am sorry to disappoint, but it is indeed spelt 'supernova'. You can check
it out yourself:
www.thefreedictionary.com/supernova
www.thefreedictionary.com/supernover
Moving on, while thorough research has been conducted on the field, we have
yet to find any proof that the more hands you play the more European your
accent get. I would however confirm that playing poker in no way improves
your Danish skills, as the language is virtually impossible to learn either
way. Even the Danish themselves struggle, as you can see here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-mOy8VUEBk
On the bright side though, we have just added the option to get multiple
currencies on PokerStars, so you could at least get a Euro Account.
Moving on - thank you for your poem! We always appreciate some culture in
our line of work. I will try to alleviate your concerns, and it seems only
fitting that I do this through poetry:
Losing with KK to AA pre, sure it makes you frown
But I would claim it's worse the other way around
Let me just assure you that it happens to everyone
In Casino Royale I think it even happened to James Bond
Let me just assure you that our games are fair
PokerStars is not rigged - to that I can swear
In fact our shuffle was reviewed by two companies
None of them found any discrepancies
Going on close to 40 billion hands dealt on the site
Any investigations show that our games are pure and white
If you want we can send you your hand histories
You can put them in PokerTracker or give them to a group of Chinese
This way you can check if our games are fair or not
I think you will find that there is indeed no evil plot
Against you or anyone else in our player base
And that when you have KK the flop doesn't always bring an Ace
So, I hope you understand that your accusations are merely fables
Need I remind you that you have won a lot of money on our tables?
Don't forget the times you got AA to KK and thought "You nits -
$50 -> Bank wire -> ATM -> Tits"
I hope this has helped clarify the matter.
If you have any other questions, please let me know.
Best regards,
Fredrik E
Poker Specialist
PokerStars Support Team
14-12-2009 14:42
#13|
0
GezaToldi OP
LOL@Fredrik E-dawg the PokerStars rapper!
"So, I hope you understand that your accusations are merely fables
Need I remind you that you have won a lot of money on our tables?
Don't forget the times you got AA to KK and thought "You nits -
$50 -> Bank wire -> ATM -> Tits""
Hahhaah! Fkn nice!
14-12-2009 17:58
#14|
0
14-12-2009 18:31
#16|
0
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