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faldt lige over den her.. syntes det er meget sjov..

24 Mar 2006

OK, I have a lot of stuff to announce that you all are definitely going to want to know about. Before I get to those announcements, though, here is a snippet of a phone conversation I had earlier today:

When telemarketers call my house, they are in for a real treat. I used to watch the show Crank Yankers, where people would make funny crank calls, and while I don''t do that, when people call me at home, I fee like it''s fair game!

Telemarketer: Hello there, my name is Rob...

Me: Hellooo Raub, How r you? (I said in a very thick Russian accent)

Rob: I''m good thanks. I''m calling on behalf of the Nevada police department and we were trying to...

Me: Police? No, I no want trouble. Is police for me?

Rob: No sir, I''m calling on behalf of the police...

Me: Maybe my son? He is in trouble again? Marcooooo!!! Where are you? You drink in the park again? Mr. Rob, Marco is in trouble? He is bad boy again?

Rob: No, no, no sir, your son is not in trouble, you are not in trouble.

Me: If he did bad things again don''t worry I fix him good. Marcoooo!!! Come here? What you did boy? Bring me my broom so I can fix you!

Rob: Sir, your son is not in trouble. I''m calling on behalf of officers who have been hurt in the line of duty.

Me: No, my son he don''t shoot the police. He shoot the police? Marcooo!!!

Rob: Sir, this has nothing to do with your son. We are accepted donations on behalf of the Nevada police.

Me: OK, you want money, yes?

Rob: Well, not exactly, we are accepting donations on behalf of fallen officers and were hoping that we could send you a package and then have you send a donation.

Me: I am no rich man. You know, I work hard, 38 hours a day you know, work wit my hands to make bricks and put on the wall all day. Is hot here, you know?

Rob: We understand that sir, and we have individual donations for as little as $20. If we could have your address we could send out a package.

Me: Ok, ok, so I can think about yes? I don''t pay right now. I maybe make some money this week in working and see.

Rob: Ok sir, fantastic, so if I could just have your name sir.

Me: Is Vladimir.

Rob: Could you spell that please?

Me: Yes. V iel

Rob: I''m sorry what was that?

Me: V like in Victor but my name is no Victor ok?

Rob: Ok.

Me: V L A D I M I R

Rob: And the last name?

Me: Krutov: K R U T O V

Rob: Ok just to verify that''s Vlarirmore Kersuv?

Me: Yes, correct.

Rob: Spelt V L A V I V M O R K E R S O I V

Me: Yes, perfect- you good boy.

Rob: Ok and your address please?

Me: I live in 4100 Snake Shorts.

Rob: 4100 Snake Shorts?

Me: No! I said 4100 Spring River!

Rob: 4100 Spring River then?

Me: You say sprint or spring? I say spring.

Rob: Ok sir, this phone call is being monitored so if you could just confirm that you are committed to sending at least a $15 donation we can send that out to you right away.

Me: No, no, my wife is no here. She know business. She is speak better English than for me. If I do and she don''t know she kill me. She is strong like bull.

Rob: Ok sir, but can we confirm that you will send the donation?

Me: Maybe is better you call later. My wife she is still work in the shop. She come home may 2:00am and I talk wis her. If she say ok, if she say no, then is no. She can eat me you know?

Rob: Ok sir, we''ll send that out right away. Thank you for your time.

Me: Thank you. Marco is good boy but sometime do bad things you know. Please don''t take him.

Rob: Ok sir, no problem.

Me: Ok, bye bye, and be a good boy ok?


I do this kind of thing all the time and I get a big kick out of it. I actually get excited when I see telemarketers call the house