One liners

Havde i går go griner med en ven over nogle One liners taget fra film hist og her...

min absolutte favorit må være Mark Wallberg ( ved ikke om det er stavet rigtigt) i The Departed

" Do you have any idea what we do around here ??" Martin sheen
" I think i have an idea" Leonardo Dicaprio

" If you had any idea what we do here we would be CUNTS!!!, ARE YOU CALLING US CUNTS??" Mark Wallberg

Go aggresiv stil at ligge for dagen

Andre der har nogle gode ;-)

"Vincent Hanna: Who? Who? What are you, a fucking owl?"

Klassiker.

Mickey

ligner 3 ligner herfra.

--


Wife: “I just lost ten pounds!”
Husband: “Turn around, I think I found them”.


og de smukke /og korte/ fra bash.org

<iretd> According to IRC, 99% of the chicks are into cybersex.
<Julian> The other 1% are actually girls.

--

<dkkev> If a girl cant dance
<dkkev> she sure cant fuck either
<psychoace> yeah but that is why you just tie her down and stuff
-

<Jesus> The guy does not understand the concept of the "Shift" key
<Noser> the what key/
-
<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit
-
<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :(-

<MasterG> .....................................................................
..................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?
--

etc. etc.

du ligner en pose lort
-erik clausen

O'Neill i Platoon : "Excuses are like assholes, everybody have one"

Klassiker!

"Here's Johnny!",

"They're here!",

"Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown,"

Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary," "Dead Poets Society,"

"Say 'hello' to my little friend!",

"We rob banks,"

"You can't handle the truth!",

"Dont you just love the smell of napalm in the morning"

Sindsyg militær makker i "Dommedag nu"

"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?"

Michael Madsen som Mr. Blonde i Reservoir Dogs.

@Bogun

lige for at følge op:

"Smells like victory"

Og gode gamle Clint

" This is a Magnum 44 the most powerfull gun in the world, it could blow you head CLEAN OFF, so you could ask yourself a question, do I feel lucky today?? Well do I?? PUNK "

"Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night,"

@bastardo
HEY! Den ville jeg skrive..

Ellers hver anden linje i The last boyscout.

Fra komedie siden:

Film: Anchorman

Person: Fantana, der er igang med at vise sin vanvittige parfume frem, som ALLE piger falder for:

"They say, 60% of the time - it works EVERY time"

MUAH

"This is my BOOMstick!"

"I'm your huckleberry"

Val Kilmer som Doc Holliday i Tombstone, så bliver det ikke mere køligt og overlegent..!

Jules: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.

Pulp Fiction

"The Adventures of Ford Fairlane: Rock n´ Roll Detective" er proppet til randen med guld citater.

"So many assholes, so few bullets"

Ford Fairlaine: "So you guys drinking and driving tonight? Take Mulholland. You´ll love the curves

Ford Fairlane: I could've been a rock singer, if only I hadn't been banned from MTV. Long story. But anyway, I only know that one song. Well, I do a mean "Puff the Magic Dragon," but only in the nude. Longer story.

Ford Fairlane: I'm so terrific I have my own toll-free number: 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE.

Lt. Amos: Are you calling me an asshole, asshole?
Ford Fairlane: No, I'm calling you an anus, anus. But if u prefere

Ford Fairlane: Excuse me, did I hear the f-word out of you? You say "fuck" again and I'll bang you right to fuck. Now get the fuck out of here.

[Looking at a corpse's breasts]
Ford Fairlane: Damn, baby, I hope you signed some organ donor cards.

[to his erection]
Ford Fairlane: Come on, down boy. Down Stanley. Roseanne Barr naked. Gone.

Lt. Amos: Two words. "Disco Express."
Ford Fairlane: Disco Express? They blew dog. And that lead singer, he kinda looked like...
Lt. Amos: Like ME, right?
Ford Fairlane: Yeah. I was gonna say he looked like shit, but... he looked like you.

Ford Fairlane: Hey, great pipes, huh? I've heard cats fuck with more harmony.
Ford Fairlane: I could crack my knuckles with more rhythm then that.

Johnny Crunch: If there are any teenage virgins listening, show up at KDRT right now with a jar of petroleum jelly, and ask to speak to Johnny Crunch.

Ford Fairlane: [to women running from his bed] Do my dishes.


Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. Write down my number: 555-6321 Got it?
Twin Club Girl: Yeah. Wait a minute. 555 is not a real number. They only use that in the movies.
Ford Fairlane: No shit, honey. What do you think this is? Real life?

Ford Fairlane: You're 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing moment in your life.

Ford Fairlane: Clint Eastwood... I fucked 'im.

Lt. Amos: You think you are so hot 'cos you get in all the clubs, heh? Just because you have sex with great looking women...
Ford Fairlane: You got to admit those are pretty good reasons...

Colleen Sutton: Nothing disgusts me. At the age of eleven I walked in on my father and the Shetland pony. Does that excite you?
Ford Fairlane: I don't know, I never met your father.

Ford Fairlane: Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.

Ford Fairlane: Johnny was the only guy who could out-disgust me. When we were kids we had gross-out contests. I coughed a pile of phlegm on a table, he said "Nice try." and pulled out a straw...

Jazz: Well, that weekend was a mistake.
Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. I'm sorry I made you clean the toilets and the bathtubs, I mean, who did all the work in bed?

Ford Fairlane: How much?
Ticket Guy: 300.
Ford Fairlane: 300? You charged the chicks one.
Ticket Guy: Hey, they blew me.
Ford Fairlane: Heyyyy. 300 coming up.


Ford Fairlane: Talking to Zuzu Petals was like masturbating with a cheese grater: slightly amusing, but mostly painful.

Amiable Tourist: Can you give us directions to Mann's Chinese Theatre?
Ford Fairlane: Hey. Go back to Michigan asswhipe.
Amiable Tourist: We're from Wisconsin.
Ford Fairlane: Yeah, and I'm from my dad's penis. Now fuck off.


Smiley: Your assistant is quite special. I look forward to raping her at your funeral.


Smiley: You're breaking me heart... What's the point?

Ford Fairlane: What's the definition of a vagina? The box a penis comes in.

Ford Fairlane: I coulda been a fisherman. Fishermen, they get up, they fish, they sell fish, they smelt fish. Reminds me of this girl I used to go with, Yvonne, she smelled like fish.

Ford Fairelaine: [Ford is looking at a Colleen Sutton and Johnny Crunch pornographic video] I'm very rich. Nothing o

Godt nok ikke fra en film - men stadig sjov!

Bokseren Hassan Al, der lige havde vundet en kamp:
"...Kampen er ikke færdig før den er forbi...."

/runc

The big Lebowski:


The Big Lebowski: Well, I do work sir, so if you don't mind...

The Dude: I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.


The Dude: Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?

Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.


The Dude: Walter, ya know, it's Smokey, so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal. It's just a game, man.
Walter Sobchak: Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
Smokey: Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8.
Walter Sobchak: [pulls out a gun] Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
The Dude: Walter...
Walter Sobchak: You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.
Smokey: I'm not...
Walter Sobchak: A world of pain.
Smokey: Dude, he's your partner...
Walter Sobchak: [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!
The Dude: They're calling the cops, put the piece away.
Walter Sobchak: Mark it zero!
[points gun in Smokey's face]
The Dude: Walter...
Walter Sobchak: [shouting] You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!
Smokey: All right, it's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?
Walter Sobchak: ...It's a league game, Smokey.


[while dunking the Dude's head in the toilet]
Blond Treehorn Thug: Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the fucking money, shithead?
The Dude: It's uh... uh... it's down there somewhere, let me take another look.

----------------------------------------------------------------

51st. State:


Elmo: Look, if I wanted cuisine, I'd have gone to Paris, all right?
Felix: You can still go to France, mate, it's not too far, it's full of pricks and they hate fucking yanks as well!


Iki: Football and drugs. A perfect Saturday afternoon.


The Lizard: It ain't often that a blowed-up motherfucker gets to chat to the motherfucker that blowed him up!
Elmo: You got that right. Usually, the blowed-up motherfucker has the courtesy to stay blowed up.
The Lizard: I'll try to be more accommodating next time, Elmo.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, måske ikke alle one-liners, men der er bare for mange gode replikker i de 2 film :)

I'll make an offer you can't refuse

- Vito Corleone :b

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs (Apple)


Don't knock masturbation &#8212; it's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen


Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns


Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams




Joe

"Dry land is not a myyyth i´ve seeeen it, Waterworld, great movie seen it six times" - Jim Carrey, Cable Guy.

Rounders er også fyldt til randen med de fedeste poker cliche´er.

Se alle de bedste her:
www.roundersmovie.com/quotes.html

Donnie Darko:

Donnie: [shouts] "First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It's just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?"

Måske lidt mere end en linie =)

Travis Bickle: You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK.

"I'll kill a communist for fun. But for a green card, I'll carve him up real nice"

- Al Pacino i Scarface

Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas:

"We can't stop here! This is bat country!"

"It's okay. He's just admiring the shape of your skull."

"Jesus Christ, we will, man. You Samoans are all the same. You have no faith in the essential decency of the white man's culture."

"Sounds like big trouble. You're going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top. And you'll need the cocaine. Tape recorder for special messages. Acapulco shirts. Get the hell out of L.A. for at least 48 hours."

Når du nu tager departed som en 1 liner, burde du have ventet til lidt senere i filmen :)

Kan ikke huske hvad han hedder ham betjenten der siger til Matt Damon:

You want a smoke ?
Or you dont smoke ?
Are you one of those fitness freaks ?
Go fuck you self!

Fra "Catch Me If You Can"

Carl Hanratty: Well, would you like to hear me tell a joke?
Earl Amdursky: Yeah. Yeah, we'd love to hear a joke from you.
Carl Hanratty: Knock knock.
Earl Amdursky: Who's there?
Carl Hanratty: Go fuck yourselves.